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Intimacy... what a funny word. After a retreat that I attended on this weekend, it holds a new and profound meaning for me.

I am Alvin and I'm checking in as Happy, at Peace and Renewed.

I went to "Big Canoe" in the mountains of Georgia over the weekend and spent a life altering 3 days with 11 other amazing black men. We all shared and purged personal demons, past hurts and long hidden secrets. The end result was a wonderful and cathartic spiritual cleansing. I feel lighter and more focused. I have 10 new spirits that I now feel connected to and that I wish to nurture our relationships and allow them to grow. I also have a renewed mandate to get my personal space in order and get out of my own way.

I've learned to begin to truly explore the way that my own past continues to control my present. I also realize now that I can no longer allow fear to keep me from being Present and in control of my life. It's a process that I'm determined to commit to and hopefully share to the brothers and sisters in my circle.

As I check out, I just want to say - "Nurture and take care of the child within and he will help you to grow and manifest into a Happy and Healthy adult"

Until lata.... I appreciate all who have touched my life and taken the time out to check in on me from time to time.

Love,
Alvin

Why is there comfort in the solace of strangers. Is it what they know or don't know that can place us at ease. How is their steely stare, searching for understanding, different than the cool stare of disapproval, neglect or disappointment.

Maybe it is that when we look in their eyes all the lack of a reflection does not have the sting of I told you so, the annoying habit of always being right, or the knowledge of past mistakes still repeated.

But once that stranger is stranger no more, then where to comfort do we seek. Does the stranger not knowing, what we do not allow ourselves to forget create this temporary space of sanctuary.

Better to face fire of heated debate with one close, than freeze in the chill of a distant and chance counselor.

So is there truly comfort in the solace of strangers? Yes... Maybe...

But there is safety at home. So choose wisely where you lay.

If I should die before I wake
My body, My money and My things you may take
For I am in Heaven, surrounded by Friends
My pain is now over and Real Living begins
Life filled with meaning and closer to God
And now closer to you, because I live in your Heart
But not like the blood that flows through your veins
I'm more like the Memory that resides in your brain
If you remember we laughed and remember we cried
If you remember at all
Then I never die
My body is but ashes to be spread across the sea
My body is gone now, but my body is not me
So until next we meet in Heaven
Cry not
For I am FREE

by Sherman Kimbrough and Alvin Agarrat
(11/03/2006)